Dear Case

Open letters to a friend, regarding everyday thoughts.

I didn’t get a salad. I got fried chicken..

—Shit I Heard In the Office

Dear Case,

Today I ate 2 cheese sticks, a banana, 7 chicken wings, a container of blackberries, a banana, a Clif bar, and 3 mini Twix.

Just thought you should know.


Love, Rox

Dear Case,

Today my morning task has been to sit at Tekserve, awaiting a repair. Everyone is sleeping around me. It looks like this old man is asleep while riding a motorcycle in a store. How irresponsible!

A concerned citizen,
Roxanne

Dear Case,

Today my morning task has been to sit at Tekserve, awaiting a repair. Everyone is sleeping around me. It looks like this old man is asleep while riding a motorcycle in a store. How irresponsible!

A concerned citizen, Roxanne

Dear Case:

I want the following at the moment, as we discussed previously:

  • Cheddar Cheese
  • To go to the gym
  • An Apple
  • Cheddar Cheese and an Apple
  • Dollar Pizza
  • Sex
  • Not Cheddar Cheese and Dollar Pizza

It seems like I just ate the Cheddar Cheese stick, so I guess no Dollar Pizza today. How about grilled cheese??

Honestly, I don’t know why you put up with me.

Love, R

Edit: I ate a whole burrito and already regret it.

Shit You Hear Around the Office

Dear Case,

Despite the fact that this office is usually quiet, these are common sounds/sayings heard throughout the day in the office:

"so, how long do you think it’ll take to do this thing that we’ve never done before?"

"why is the internet down? we’re a goddamn internet company!"

"ok who made the coffee this morning? It’s terrible…" [not relevant anymore]

"it is what it is"

[[knock knock]] “U.P.S.!”

"oh god, he’s about to use the microwave! NOOOO!"

**type…type…type** **giggle giggle** **type-type-type-type-type** HAHAHAHA!

"do you smell gas? should we leave? probably not… yeah, we’re fine"

"what does your company name even mean?" "um, i have no idea…"

"what happened to the ketel one?!?"

"god these elevators suck! it’s the f***ing 21st century for cryin’ out loud”

"ATTENTION: THIS IS JUST A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY FIRE ALARM - TESTING, 1…2…3…4…5……6" [[BOOOOOOOOOP! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!]]

[[seltzer-maker farting noise]] [[fart fart fart]]

"WTF, why is it so hot in here?"

"9TH FLOOR — GOING DOWN" (in sad voice)

"Guys, there’s beer in the conference room, if anyone wants any beer? Beer in the conference room. Beer? If anyone wants…"

[[MEOW]]

-T

Dear Case,
This is a rough approximation of what my true form appears as.
Word. -R

Dear Case,

This is a rough approximation of what my true form appears as.

Word. -R

Dear Roxanne,

Shark

Gnaw on that.

Best Regards,

Case

Dear Case,

I really want to jam out to Kansas and Meatloaf right now, but our office is so quiet. Everyone hates fun.

Questioningly yours,

Rox

Dear Case,

Why did the J train skip my stop four times this morning, making me wait outside for an hour in 12 degree weather?

Love, Rox